Back at the start of January I wrote my ‘goodbye letter to alcohol’ which laid out my reasons for stopping drinking and highlighted the things I was most afraid of without alcohol by my side. I was scared my husband wouldn't want to be married to a teetotal wife; I was afraid my friends would find me boring; I was fearful I'd never have the confidence to dance on a table or belt out karaoke again; and I was scared no one would choose to hang out with me. However over the past 10 months I have realised that David and my marriage runs far deeper than a vat of Merlot. In fact through banishing alcohol, I have also banished my destructive mood swings, leading to a far more harmonious partnership. As I've made this transition to a sober existence I have also become aware of just how incredibly supportive and solid my friendship group is - booze or no booze, they're still there. I was also quite taken aback by just how little time it took for me to feel brave enough to wail down a karaoke microphone without a bottle in the other hand. However, dancing... well, I'd just written off dancing as something that was firmly relegated to my pissed up past.
In Catherine Gray's 'The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober', she describes the moment when, after becoming sober, she finally stopped caring about what other people thought about her dancing and she was 'able to leap around the dance floors with wild abandon'. I remember reading it and thinking that would never be me. I had never in my life danced without alcohol obliterating my inhibitions and I didn't think that I was capable of starting in my mid-forties. Nevertheless, this past weekend I had a major sober epiphany. On Friday night I attended Clockenflap, Hong Kong's annual music festival, and I was watching an Aussie DJ duo called Peking Duk who were just brilliant. Before I knew it, I was leaping around like no one was watching and loving every moment of it. The music was amazing, the atmosphere was brilliant, I was totally in the mood and the music got me. I quickly realised that no one was looking at me dancing or judging me, and it was easy to let go and dance like a crazy lady. I loved it. That night I danced 16,000 steps according to my fitness tracker!
Once I'd broken my dancing duck, so to speak, there was no stopping me! The following night I went to the Royal Hong Kong Yacht Club Regatta Ball and danced a further 18,000 steps, then the following night I was back at Clockenflap and rounded off my weekend by smashing the 20,000 dance step mark! The high I felt this weekend having conquered one of my biggest sober barriers was quite exhilarating. Now I know that there is nothing enjoyable that I did under the influence of alcohol that is not entirely possible, and unequivocally better, without it.
OK, so dancing sober may not seem like such a biggie to anyone who can throw some shapes on the dance floor, but when you have the grace and dance moves of a baby elephant, then this is a milestone. Quitting drinking and feeling comfortable in my skin as a non-drinker has taken time, but ten months down the line, I feel I can hand on heart say that I have finally got there. None of my preconceived fears about not drinking have been realised and nowadays I simply see alcohol as the dragging anchor that was preventing me from moving forward with my life. Now I have cut myself free, I am hurtling towards endless possibilities. Brace yourself dance floors of Hong Kong... I've found my dancing shoes!
In Catherine Gray's 'The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober', she describes the moment when, after becoming sober, she finally stopped caring about what other people thought about her dancing and she was 'able to leap around the dance floors with wild abandon'. I remember reading it and thinking that would never be me. I had never in my life danced without alcohol obliterating my inhibitions and I didn't think that I was capable of starting in my mid-forties. Nevertheless, this past weekend I had a major sober epiphany. On Friday night I attended Clockenflap, Hong Kong's annual music festival, and I was watching an Aussie DJ duo called Peking Duk who were just brilliant. Before I knew it, I was leaping around like no one was watching and loving every moment of it. The music was amazing, the atmosphere was brilliant, I was totally in the mood and the music got me. I quickly realised that no one was looking at me dancing or judging me, and it was easy to let go and dance like a crazy lady. I loved it. That night I danced 16,000 steps according to my fitness tracker!
Once I'd broken my dancing duck, so to speak, there was no stopping me! The following night I went to the Royal Hong Kong Yacht Club Regatta Ball and danced a further 18,000 steps, then the following night I was back at Clockenflap and rounded off my weekend by smashing the 20,000 dance step mark! The high I felt this weekend having conquered one of my biggest sober barriers was quite exhilarating. Now I know that there is nothing enjoyable that I did under the influence of alcohol that is not entirely possible, and unequivocally better, without it.
OK, so dancing sober may not seem like such a biggie to anyone who can throw some shapes on the dance floor, but when you have the grace and dance moves of a baby elephant, then this is a milestone. Quitting drinking and feeling comfortable in my skin as a non-drinker has taken time, but ten months down the line, I feel I can hand on heart say that I have finally got there. None of my preconceived fears about not drinking have been realised and nowadays I simply see alcohol as the dragging anchor that was preventing me from moving forward with my life. Now I have cut myself free, I am hurtling towards endless possibilities. Brace yourself dance floors of Hong Kong... I've found my dancing shoes!
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