'No' has been removed from the dictionary

The past month has been tougher than I could have ever imagined.  If I had been aware that the transition from a comfortable life in our sailing village with a drinking problem, to a super-charged, atomic-paced city with an even worse drinking problem would be quite so challenging, I probably would have opted out of making the change.

Perhaps my biggest challenge has been settling into my job which I naively thought would be the least of my worries.  Business is conducted differently here.  Hong Kong is an entrepreneur's playground and anything is possible.  'No' has been removed from the dictionary which means that when a client proposes the 'impossible' you have to work out a way to make it happen.  This requires quite a change of mindset when dealing with clients, shifting from the British 'conditioning of expectations' to the standard Hong Kong 'yes, no problem' - accompanied with well-disguised internal angst and (in my case) complete blind panic.

Dealing with this completely alien work culture has resulted in my mind going into over-drive deliberating over micro worries like do I have the ability to do my job, to macro worries like what do I really want to achieve from my life.  The only thing I have concluded is that I don't know the answer to any of these questions, so while I try to get to the bottom of these dilemmas, I have begun to develop a coping mechanism.  The techniques that I am applying to deal with the pressures and stresses are:

1. Dealing with one day at a time and focusing only on what I need to achieve on that particular day;
2. Learning to say yes but realising that finding a solution does not rest squarely on my shoulders alone; 
3. Trying to care less - the worst thing that can happen is I get fired;
4. Pushing myself to enjoy the NOW and not postpone happiness and fulfilment for tomorrow;
5. When all else fails - throw money at the problem by investing in a neck and shoulder massage followed by a lychee martini.  

Chucking money at the problem... a foot massage

So in answer to the question in my earlier blog - "What’s the great lesson that this culture and these people seem to be teaching me?" - it is live for the moment and worry about the future tomorrow.

The shock of culture shock

Before I moved to Hong Kong I spent many a sleepless night dream scheming my new life in Asia.  I read a lot about culture shock but naively I brushed it aside believing that I was worldly and adaptable and it would not be an issue I would encounter.  Besides, I know lots of people who have relocated abroad over the years, and never once have I had a conversation with them, or seen a single post on Facebook, to indicate that they are, or have, suffered from culture shock.  In fact the photographs of smiling faces, stunning locations, blue skies, sunshine, exotic beaches and snow capped mountains would suggest that life beyond the UK shores is nothing but an idyllic adventure.

The shock of the bad news we received from the UK a couple of weeks ago, combined with a tough start to my new job, toppled me from my smug high-ground and I have been descending fast into a pit of anxiety, loneliness, sadness, irritability and depression.  Silently I find myself hoping that I have hit the bottom and it is time to start finding a way out.  Having tried to understand and analyse why I feel the way I do it is clear that I am deep in the throws of culture shock.  This was not meant to happen to me - I'm open-minded and culturally sensitive.  I have lived and worked abroad before and never experienced this intense combination of emotions dragging me down to a place I don't want to be.

My culture shock is all encompassing and it sends ripples out to all those close to me.  I have never been very good at masking my emotions.  I wear my heart on my sleeve and what you see is what you get.  The result being that when I'm up, I'm great fun to be around but when I'm down I have a tendency to drag down with me those I love and care for the most.  I am very lucky to have David as a husband.  He is one of the most cheerful people I know and he can always see the positive in every situation.  I have no doubt that he felt the 'honeymoon phase' passing and 'the honeymoon is over phase' kicking in.  I suspect that being the person he is, he suffered in silence, put a big smile on his face, and just knuckled down and got on with his new life.  I, on the other hand, have been extremely tearful, dwelling on my emotions and over-analysing what I can do to overcome this culture shock.  However, despite feeling like withdrawing from the world, I have started to set in place some coping mechanisms to see me through this phase and on to the 'all's well and everything's OK phase'.

I am working hard to build a support network of friends around me here in Hong Kong.  Two girlfriends here in particular, have very patiently listened to me articulate my feelings and buoyed me up with their invaluable advice.  I have signed up to a number of Meet-Up groups and last Wednesday I took myself off to a pub quiz with an eclectic group of strangers and surprised myself with my contribution in the music round with my immense knowledge of song lyrics.  Everyone was incredibly welcoming and it was a great comfort to talk to an American guy who completely empathised with my feelings and reassured me that it will pass.  Last weekend I was very happy to receive a friend request on Facebook from an old school friend who I was unaware lives in Hong Kong and we plan to meet up when she returns from a holiday in the UK.  And today I have been contacted by a girl who has recently relocated from Shanghai to Hong Kong suggesting we meet up for a drink.  As my support network builds, I have no doubt that this minor set-back will pass and life will become easier to deal with.

I am determined to fight this culture shock hard and beat it quickly. Thank you to all those who have born the brunt of my negative emotions and in particular my amazing husband and my long-suffering parents.

My Winnie who I miss soooo much

Welcome to London on speed

Now that I am working I am no longer an observer of Hong Kong life but I am an active participant.  Hong Kong is a city packed with locals and foreigners committed to working extremely hard to improve their status and the health of their bank accounts.  One in seven people living on Hong Kong island is classified as a high net worth individual and their wealth is evident every single day from the countless designer shops, the flash cars and chauffeur driven people carriers, the luxurious properties and the sharply dressed business men and women.  It is difficult not to be sucked into aspiring to owning that Cartier watch, dressing in head to toe Chanel, clutching a Hermes bag and wearing genuine Louboutins.  Now that I am working here, I realise that these things do not come without certain sacrifices.

The population of Hong Kong works hard.  I thought agency life in London was tough and often we had to rearrange our personal lives to get things completed to deadlines set by demanding clients.  Hong Kong is London on speed.  I have never had to learn so much - including cultural differences, the asian market, and the company's way of doing things - while at the same time just getting on with business, juggling a number of different demands and hitting challenging timelines.  I see more of the office and my colleagues each week than I do of my husband.  However, this is the reality of working in Hong Kong.  If you want to improve your status and earn the money, you have to put in the hours.  Nothing will be handed to you on a plate and it is a competitive market - if you aren't prepared to do it, someone else will be. 

The issue with working the long hours is that you have to have a way of letting off steam and releasing the stress.  Suddenly the endless bright flashing lights advertising foot massages and the numerous lavender scented pampering spas make sense.  At the same time the rows and rows of bars lining the escalator no longer appear to be sociable hangouts for the weekends but more like a daily provider of medicinal support.  

It has become clear that this is a 'no pain, no gain' culture.  Without a doubt the money is here and Hong Kong offers the opportunity for you chase your dream, but you will have to work hard for it.    I found a blog that sums up my current feelings towards Hong Kong rather well:

"What’s the great lesson that this culture and these people seem to be teaching me? Push harder? Run or get out of the way? Eat or be eaten?  Maybe Hong Kong is trying to tell me that the world waits for no one and if you want to be a part of it, stay on top of it – stay in the line.  Or does it say that all of this insane pressure lands you the same place as everyone else – wanting more?"

Too far away from home

When David and I were making our decision to move to Hong Kong, one of the factors that affected our final choice was that both our parents are fit and healthy, and we believed that we should have a good window to be out of the country before we may be needed back home in the UK.  Having said that my mother had pointed out before I left that although I would be very good at arranging the logistics, financials and practicalities of care - I would perhaps be lacking in the cuddly, fluffy, compassionate element of it!  She feels that my brothers may be better qualified to provide empathy, patience and benevolence than me - and I can't really argue with that particularly when I see how they are with their children.

During our relocation, it had frequently crossed my mind that at some point we would receive a bad news call, and that would be the moment when the reality of our distance from home would strike.  Perhaps unsurprisingly, I had always felt that that call would be related to our parents, as they are the oldest generation alive in both David and my family.  At the same time, I didn't anticipate receiving this type of call for a good long while after arriving here, once we were established and truly settled in.

Therefore we were staggered and shaken to receive a bad news call this week about a very close friend.   Suddenly the distance that superficially diminishes due to FaceTime, Skype and Facebook - opened up like an infinite chasm.  David and I felt utterly cast adrift from where we want to be, supporting our friend and her husband, face to face, back home.  All at once the reality of being an expat loses its shine, and the implications of our decision to move 6,000 miles away from friends and family seems selfish and reckless.

I can only hope that despite the distance we are able to prop up our friend and her husband remotely and technology will help to close the gap that physically separates us.  While, in the words of my mother, I'm useless at the fluffy, caring, compassionate stuff - I am hoping that humour and wit will suffice.  Above all we are going to stay positive that our lovely friend will fight hard - and if anyone can fight hard, she can - to reach her goal of visiting us in Hong Kong in November.

Back to work

I have successfully survived my first full week back in full time employment and I am loving the structure, routine and purpose that has been injected back into my life.  Although I have spent almost all of my working life employed in agencies - starting in advertising, moving to media planning and buying, then to full service, ending up in healthcare PR - I have never worked for a global public relations agency before.  However, it has proven to be a very familiar environment and in many ways it is very similar to working in London for JWT and MindShare.

For example there are around 60 people working in our office - so it is considerably larger than the past three agencies I have worked within.  This means that there are more people in the team to support you and to delegate to, which is radically different to working in a small agency where you simply have to get stuck in and do everything yourself including a lot of time consuming but essential admin.  Being part of a global network you also have access to colleagues on the ground in other markets so you have direct contacts for insight and support.   And many of the clients I will be working with are multi nationals with established PR and marketing practices and sensible budgets which allows you to develop more innovative ideas.  In the week that I have been back at work, the agency has already scooped two PR awards and it is exciting to be back into this type of environment.  As with working in London agencies, the hours are a lot longer than I have been working recently and working remotely does not appear to be encouraged.  Also it appears to be a bit of a 'sink or swim' culture - you are expected to use your initiative, put in the hours and just get on with the job.  There is no nurturing and hand-holding - which suits my nature and I'm used to that way of working from my London days.

The noticeable differences are:

1. I am the odd one out!  In our open plan office I stand out as the only one with blonde hair and blue eyes.
2. Although our contracts say that our hours are 9.00am to 5.30pm the Hong Kong Chinese tend to arrive at around 9.30am and work late into the evening.  Being someone who works more effectively in the morning, I tend to get in early and the office is a ghost town until everyone starts trickling in at 9.30am.
3. The Hong Kong locals are passionate about food and everyone will take their full hour at lunchtime - often heading to a diner serving cantonese food - which is typically some form of meat with rice or noodles.  Over the past 19 years of my working life I have rarely taken my full lunch break.
4. The first language of everyone sitting in the same area as me is Cantonese and I hadn't fully appreciated how strange it would be to understand absolutely nothing that my colleagues are saying to each other.  Having worked in open plan offices for most of my career I have become adept at zoning out background noise and focusing but I do subconsciously pick up what is being said around me and often chip in with comments.  However I can't do that at all now!  

At the moment I am getting out of bed and feeling excited about going to work.  I have my structure back, I feel visible again, I am surrounded by people all day, I am being stretched mentally and I even have an element of stress back so I don't need to create stress any more!

Working Girl in my Little Posh Dress

The grass is always greener

Having had a very welcome three month break, yesterday was my introduction back into the working world.  I had not had a break from work of more than two weeks in the past ten years and the contrast between how I believed I would use my freedom versus the reality has been quite an insight into the strange way I work.  

How I believed I would spend my free time

1. Lying on the beach soaking up the rays while my skin turned a gorgeous honey gold colour without damaging my skin or ageing me at all
2. Going swimming for an hour everyday to lose the bingo wings and flatten the stomach
3. Finishing the book I am about one fifth of the way through writing with the endless time I would have on my hands
4. Blogging from Starbucks while nurturing the perfect Americano
5. Exploring every inch of Hong Kong, eating out every night and spending very little time in our small (but perfectly formed) apartment

How I actually spent my free time

1. Looking out of the window at the grey rainy weather while applying fake tan and trying to put a positive spin on the fact that I was not able to fry myself under the sun's damaging rays
2. Walking up the Peak or around Hong Kong Zoo which generally seemed more appealing than swimming and cost less
3. Researching job sites, LinkedIn and company websites, tweaking my CV and covering letter, applying for jobs and sending introduction emails to kick-start the job hunt
4. Meeting up with numerous recruitment, advertising, PR, digital and media agency contacts in the quest to find the perfect job
5. Preparing and attending interviews
6. Developing proposals for speculative project work
7. Winning project work and project managing and copywriting a website, attending meetings and leading conference calls
8. Finding that the hunt for a new job and working freelance left little/no time for focusing on finishing my book 
9. Blogging from home as Starbucks and Pacific Coffee Company only offer 20 minutes of free wifi - oh and I've given up coffee
10. Lying on the sofa thinking I should get up and explore more of Hong Kong but the pull of watching another episode of Made in Chelsea or The Apprentice was just too strong
11. Looking around the shops and accidentally returning home with bulging bags when I was meant to be being frugal
12. Detoxing and feeling like death as my body tried to rid itself of 41 years of toxins
13. Giving up smoking without any pre-planning and sticking to it - so far
14. Feeling envious of people going to work each day and having purpose, routine and structure in their lives

The most surprising realisations over these past three months are that:

1. I crave structure and routine in my life and my default is to develop a routine to my day
2. I feel directionless and invisible without a full-time job
3. I yearn for people's company and banter and feel lonely without it 
4. I need to be stretched mentally and be around people I can learn from
5. If I don't have stress in my life, I will create stress in my life

Now that I am back in the working world I am hoping that once more I will feel fulfilled and won't find that this is simply a case of the grass always being greener.  If I ever start moaning about my job - please will someone refer me back to this blog!

Back to work in my Little Posh Dress

Window shopping in China

Looking at the weather forecast last Saturday and seeing the outlook was for rain, rain and more rain, it seemed a good opportunity to convince David to accompany me on a day trip shopping in China.  I mean, what else can you do on a rainy day in Hong Kong?  So, getting up early, we set off for the MTR (Hong Kong's tube system) armed with our passports and China visas, and headed to Luohu Commercial City just across the border from Hong Kong in Shenzhen.

Luohu (or LoWu) is renowned for its wide-range of quality knock-off shoes, handbags, wallets, watches, clothes, DVDs - you name it, if it can be copied, you can find it.  With 1,700 shops spread over 5 floors it is a rabbit warren of small stalls displaying Prada sunglasses, Mulberry handbags, Louboutin heels, Beats by Dre headphones and Panerai watches.  It seems a little daunting on arrival and hard to know where to start but I had done a lot of research on Tripadvisor, blogs and through expats living here and had a good idea of where to head and how much we should be charged for each item.  If you aren't a confident negotiator you run the risk of being ripped off, but if you know that you should be paying around 1/3 of the shopkeepers opening price, it makes it easier to stick to your guns and acquire some great bargains.

As a guide we were advised that you should be paying around the following:

Baseball hat:  £3

Polo shirt:  £5

Converse shoes:  £8

Nike trainers:  £18

T shirts:  £3

AAA quality handbag:  £60

Good quality handbag:  £35

Jeans:  £14

Business shirts:  £6

Sunglasses:  £15

This was meant to be a bit of a fact finding mission but I loved the bargaining and came home laden with shoes, handbags and scarves and spent less than £100.  On our next trip we are going to get clothes copied, suits made and I will be stocking up on more handbags and shoes.... after all a girl can never have too many. 

My only word of warning to anyone unfamiliar with China - is that your shopping is accompanied by the toe-curling sound of someone loudly clearing the phlegm from their throat, followed by the splat as it lands on the floor centimetres from your feet (if you are lucky)!

Operation Make New Friends

Wednesday this week was a public holiday - 'Tuen Ng Festival' - or the Dragon Boat Festival.  At various locations around Hong Kong the thumping beat of the dragon boat drum resonates as teams compete against each other for victory.  We decided to head to Stanley to watch the races as we had heard that there was a fantastic party atmosphere there and we knew a couple of people competing.  Ignoring advice to arrive early as the beach gets completely packed, David and I spent the morning pottering around before arriving in Stanley in time for a leisurely Vietnamese lunch in Murray House.  Murray House is a stunning colonial building that was moved from Central to Stanley in 2001 after being dismantled in the 80s to make way for the Bank of China Tower.  After filling our tummies, it was time to face the masses and initiate ourselves into the Dragon Boat carnage.

It was with some relief that we arrived on a crowded - but definitely not jam-packed - beach.  We had been led to believe that we would be entering a drunken throng of young party people - not unlike Lan Kwai Fong on a Friday night.  In contrast, there were a scattering of spectators covering the full spectrum of age groups, surrounded by the countless competing teams, and not a drunkard in sight.  The teams were grouped together in their branded kit and ranged from the serious teams engaged in poker-faced warm-up routines, to the fun teams laughing merrily as they hoarsely yelled rugby-style motivational chants.  Watching the less serious teams bantering away with each other brought on a tsunami of homesickness.  Standing, just the two of us together on the beach, reminded us just how much we miss being part of a big group of friends who accept our faults and foibles and are happy to endure our British sarcasm and relentless piss-taking - and vice versa of course.

It was a real wake-up call that now that Operation Find a Job has been completed successfully, Operation Make New Friends needs to rev up a gear.  It is not that we haven't made friends in the time that we have been here, as we have, and we have been surprised at how welcoming, inclusive and supportive the established expats here have been.  However, it takes time to get to know people properly before you can open up and truly be yourself - faults and all!

With this in mind, I suggested to David that we attended an Internations social event at the W Hotel in Kowloon.  The location certainly held more appeal than the prospect of making small talk with a group of strangers.  It was obvious when I met David to set-off for the event that he was in an uncooperative mood and was going to do his best to sabotage any chance of making friends - unless they were hideously badly behaved like he intended to be.  Arriving on time - and clearly too early - we grabbed our free cocktail and stood at a table surveying the room.  We were surrounded by a disparate group of predominantly Asian women and Western men and it looked like the early stages of a school disco where everyone is eyeing up the talent but hasn't plucked up the courage to strike up conversation.  The fact that the event on the surface looked to be a singles meet-up, only fuelled David's reluctance to branch out and talk to anyone.

In short, we enjoyed a couple of over-priced glasses of average Pinot Grigio and I was approached by a lady who recognised me from the detox programme, who we spoke to for a while, along with her friends.  Once they left to go out to dinner, the room got more and more crowded with prowling singles, beginning to bravely make the first move to start up conversation.  Without a doubt we were among the tallest people in the room, yet despite our stature we started to get jostled out of the way as people pushed to get to the bar or to get to the girl they had had their eye on for the past hour.  It was at this point that David loudly announced 'They are all so small, I keep elbowing them in the head!', that I decided to give-up and head back to the sanctuary of the Mid-Levels before we upset anyone.

So the first mission of Operation Make New Friends had to be aborted, but I am not going to be defeated!  Operation Make New Friends is going to be put into action over the next two weeks as David is away travelling in Taiwan and China and I feel the operation may be more successful without my social hand grenade husband.

Death by Vegetable

I have always been extremely fortunate to have had a very strong constitution.  There is practically nothing that will upset my iron stomach and I can count on one hand the number of times I have thrown-up in the past 10 years.  Turning to a healthier way of life and adopting a detox regime consisting of mainly raw vegan food, I believed would only benefit my well-being and help me shed a few pounds rapidly.  There is no denying that it has done the latter - I am over half a stone lighter than I was 10 days ago - but it has become apparent that my body was reliant on toxins to keep it running efficiently.  Over the past 3 days with the toxins massively depleted, my body appears to have given up on me!

It all started with what was entitled 'The Liver Flush' which was scheduled for day 8 of the detox programme.  The purpose of a liver flush is to clear fatty deposits and toxins congesting the liver and bile ducts and restore the liver to proper functionality.  Bearing in mind that I like to keep my liver working hard with impromptu binge drinking sessions, I felt that I would benefit from this procedure and despite reading what I was required to do, I was determined to help my poor liver, regardless of the sacrifices I would need to make.  Oh what a mistake!

So, on Monday - the last time I could be out of reach of a toilet for more than 30 minutes - I followed the liver flush procedure to the letter.  Starting by drinking apple juice, eating no solid foods from lunchtime and drinking one and half litres of water in the afternoon.  At 7pm I drank a revolting mixture of Epsom salts, hot water and apple juice, followed by a further glass of hot water - to loosen the bile duct.  Then between 8pm to 9.30pm I had to force down a 300ml mixture of olive oil and lemon juice every 15 minutes until all the greasy liquid was finished.  As instructed, I took myself to bed the moment I had finished the olive oil solution and lay down feeling slightly nauseous.  Within thirty minutes I had gone from feeling slightly nauseous to knowing that I was going to have to vomit and sprinted to the bathroom just in time to projectile an endless stream of oily mess into the loo.

The instructions in my detox programme stated 'Some may find it hard to sleep well tonight and some may feel nauseous, and some may start some from of diarrhoea in the middle of the night'.  At no point did it suggest that I would projectile up the entire revolting mixture.  Fortunately I felt better after my chunder - although I don't think I will ever be able to ingest olive oil again - and I managed to fall asleep.

Waking the next morning, I decided to carry on with the procedure, just in case my body had held on to any of the olive oil and lemon juice, and I took a further dose of Epsom salts, hot water and apple juice.    Then I waited for the magic to happen.  Unfortunately the magic did happen and it hasn't stopped happening since - three days later and I can't eat anything at all without it passing straight through me, and I can't leave the house for more than 30 minutes!

Again - I feel royally misled by the instructions for the next morning which stated 'you may feel more irritable than usual.'  What an understatement - how about three days later you will be feeling psychotic, hungry and exhausted.  The instructions also promised me that 'after doing it most people experience increased energy and it shows in how they look' - I feel knackered and my skin looks dehydrated and grey as I can't get any nutritional value from any food I ingest as it simply passes right through me!  This is probably not helped by the fact that detox food is high in fibre and is designed to get your digestive system working more efficiently.  As a result I have had to halt proceedings on the detox as it was clearly making the issue worse and I have swapped smoothies and raw food for potatoes, eggs (OK - so I'm not a vegan any more... desperate times and all that...) and bananas.

This vegan eats eggs

It is clear that my body has survived the past 41 years on my toxin-fuelled diet and that is what has kept it running so effectively.  Now that I no longer have caffeine, booze, nicotine, wheat, dairy (apart from eggs!) and sugar - my body can't cope.  So, it is with a touch of relief - that I will be reintroducing meat, wheat, dairy and ALCOHOL to my diet gradually over the coming week to get my body back to performing at its peak again.  So - for all of you who had your doubts about my new vegan lifestyle - you will be reassured to see that my body has rejected it... not me!

The planets have aligned

Embarking on a 12 day detox appeared to be the stimulant to positive changes here in Hong Kong.  On day one of detox I received a phone call offering me a job with a large international PR agency which I was really hoping I would get.  Suddenly a huge weight was lifted from both David and my shoulders both in terms of alleviating looming money issues, but also allowing us to put down our roots here and start making plans.  So while David has been investigating joining Royal Hong Kong Yacht Club, I've been busy buying organic groceries from the upmarket supermarkets, getting my highlights done, buying good quality hair and skin products and checking out gym memberships!

As I was patting myself on the back for being offered a job I received another phone call.  This time it was the spa at The Mandarin Oriental telling me that a friend had bought me a full body massage and would I like to come in and collect my gift voucher and make my appointment.   I was so hysterical with excitement that I had almost arrived at the spa reception before they had hung up the call to me.   The luxurious decor of the spa is inspired by 1930's Shanghai, the service is outstanding, and the attention to detail is exceptional.  Having booked my appointment, I left with a beautiful silk box housing my gift voucher presented in a glossy gold bag.

My Mandarin Spa Gift Voucher

Thursday was David and my 4th Wedding Anniversary, and despite having an agreement that we were not going to exchange presents to conserve our funds, David successfully made me look like the fairly average wife - which I probably am - by presenting me with a Shanghai Tang bag.  I was first introduced to Shanghai Tang when I worked here in 1995 and shared an office with David Tang - the Hong Kong entrepreneur behind Shanghai Tang.  I fell in love with the brand then, and I love it just as much now.  Shanghai Tang sells a combination of clothes inspired by traditional Han Chinese clothing but with a modern twist, as well as household gifts, and everything is recognisably Shanghai Tang by the vibrant colours.  The bright green bag I was given contained some gorgeous Jade Dragon perfume.  Apparently jade represents virtue, calm and serenity (just like me) and the dragon is the imperial symbol of power, protection, luck and fortune (just like David???).  I bet David didn't know that when he bought it.

My Shanghai Tang Gift

Our wedding anniversary was also a notable day as the weather finally changed from cloudy and hot, to sunny and hot - transforming Hong Kong into the place I thought I was moving to!  This metamorphosis has been a great excuse to explore the numerous beaches on Hong Kong island and I have felt my spirits lift every day with the sun beating down on my skin - which is gradually turning from blueish white to a light tan.

Shek-O beach

Finally on realising that I had a job and therefore an imminent income, David and I decided to buy tickets to watch the British and Irish Lions vs Barbarians - something that we had both been keen to do but were reluctant to commit to while I was unemployed.  Watching rugby wearing a vest top, skirt, flip flops and a layer of sweat at 7.30pm was a new concept to me - along with watching rugby sober while on detox.  Rugby matches for me have always been about hats, scarves, gloves, warm socks, boots and copious lager or red wine (or both) to keep warm.  How the players coped with actually playing in the heat is beyond me - but I enjoyed watching them struggle.  Although I have to confess that the 'people watching' in the South Stand was almost more fun than the match itself.  There were several stag parties having 'stag-off' drinking races dressed in various outfits ranging from Baywatch trunks and mankinis to daffodils and Geishas.  Note to self though - rugby is best enjoyed through an alcohol induced haze!

British and Irish Lions vs Barbarians

So clearly the planets aligned last week and while my body has been detoxing, with not a whiff of alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, wheat, sugar, meat, dairy or processed foods passing through my lips, life has turned a corner here and things are looking up.  Maybe the detox has cleansed more than just my body!

My body is a temple

As my body is supposed to be a temple, I made a decision last week that it is time for me to do something about it to make it worthy of worshipping.  Living in the Mid-Levels in Hong Kong is not conducive to a healthy lifestyle.  If you are weak-willed - as I can be - and you are surrounded by countless bars and restaurants within easy stumbling distance, it is too easy to be lured astray on a daily basis.  It is not uncommon for David and I to go for a quick glass of wine during happy hour, only to forget to go home once happy hour has finished and to fall through our front door, many glasses of wine down, having forgotten to eat dinner.  This sort of behaviour is perfect for instigating post-wine paranoia and the booze blues the following day - far from ideal when you have a nagging homesickness that keeps rearing its head.

So, taking my positive, healthy future into my own hands, I took myself to an open day at i-detox on Saturday - a wellness education centre in Central.  Initially I thought that I would attend the open day talk on Superfoods and take my new found knowledge and start to make some little changes to make my lifestyle a little less toxic.  However, having completed the questionnaire to determine how 'toxic' my body is, I was horrified at the possible impact that everything I happily shove into my mouth appears to be having on my health.  Before I could mutter 'goji berries', I was signing up to a 12 day detox programme and handing over my credit card - convincing myself that this was an investment into my future.

My detox foods

Having had my 'last supper' on Saturday.... and then again on Sunday... Monday was 'D-day' and my new healthy regime was activated.  No longer do I smoke, drink alcohol or caffeine, eat meat, dairy, wheat or gluten.  My diet is filled with fruit, vegetables, pulses and brown rice - accompanied with previously unheard of superfoods including spirulina, flax seeds, cacao nibs and raw vegan rice protein.  As uninspiring as it may sound, the foods are surprisingly tasty, if you know what to do with them.  As you can imagine I don't have a clue on how to cook anything vegan but fortunately I have been provided with a few recipes and we have an organic restaurant very close by which serves vegan food that - hand on heart - is absolutely delicious!

Delicious zucchini pesto

Today is day three of detox.  Monday and Tuesday were difficult days - I'll spare the details, suffice to say that I needed to remain close to a toilet - and I suffered terrible headaches.  However, today I have woken up and feel as though the rain cloud has been lifted from my head and I definitely feel brighter and more energised.  I have also lost 3lbs already - wooohoooo!

Only 9 days left before my body is converted to a fully-restored temple.  I will keep you updated on my progress and I will happily start a wager on how long it takes for me to revert from a clean-living vegan to a smoking, drinking carnivore!

My Little Posh Dresses

Today was a very exciting day as David bought a parcel home for me that had been delivered to his office.  Ripping the paper off like an over-excited three year old playing pass-the-parcel, I was thrilled to find four dresses inside from the brand new The Little Posh Dress Company.  Each dress is hand-crafted in the UK and made by one individual from start to finish.  The dresses are all in one classic style - empire line falling on the knee - but they come in a wide range of fabric designs which can completely transform the look of each dress.  As there will only be a limited number of each dress produced, I shouldn't experience the embarrassment of turning up to a friends house to find we are wearing matching outfits.

My new dress collection

The sophisticated linen look - perfect for staying cool in the office on a typically hot and humid Hong Kong day

Vintage floral - ideal for afternoon tea at The Peninsular... hint hint David Walder!

Flirty red spotty look - perfect for sitting in a bar sipping a Lychee Martini

The classic floral design - ideal for a night at Happy Valley horse racing

The dresses are incredibly flattering and now that the weather is getting hot and steamy here - they have arrived in perfect time for the summer.  I will keep you posted on My Little Posh Dresses trips out here in Hong Kong.

My Fat Right Foot

Us Brits love a good moan and a favourite topic to whinge about is the NHS from "I can't believe it took me so long to get an appointment to see my GP" to "My local hospital is not going to be able to operate on me for 3 months".  The reality is though, that despite its short-comings, you know how it works, how you get referred to secondary care and where to go to.  Moving abroad, you realise that you are going to have to quickly negotiate your way around an entirely new system.  And, inevitably you are going to park this thought until you genuinely need medical advice.

This week, for no reason, the ball of my right foot has swollen up dramatically, making it painful to walk on and almost impossible to wear shoes.  Having done a bit of self-diagnosis online, I have short-listed my issue to:
Metatarsalgia
Sesomoiditis
Gout

Naturally, I would rather it wasn't gout as that would make me a 50-something fat ruddy-complexioned posh man with a penchant for port, ales and steak.  However, I can't rule it out so I am basically treating myself for all three issues simultaneously in the hope that something works and I don't have to resort to navigating around Hong Kong's unfamiliar healthcare system.  My current treatment plan involves:

1)  Sitting on sofa with foot elevated on cushions
2)  Regularly administering ice-packs and tiger balm
3)  No alcohol or meat
4)  Drinking lemon juice and eating cherries
5)  No exercise

So, I am firmly glued to the sofa, snacking on fruit and vegetables and feeling ever so slightly sorry for myself - while praying that something cures my fat right foot!

Embracing My Inner Tai-Tai

Today, amongst other things, I decided it was time for me to embrace my inner Tai-Tai.  So, like every good lady of leisure, I pottered around our apartment browsing recipe books to choose a culinary extravaganza to wow my husband with on his return from a hard day at the office.  Having settled on Tom Khaa Kai - a Thai chicken soup - and David's favourite (and rather dull) pork with sweet and sour sauce and rice - I gathered my shopping bags and headed to the wet market in Sheung Wan.

I had visited the market once before and left empty handed, too intimidated and unsure of the correct etiquette to buy anything.  Were you meant to pick out the fruit and vegetables you wanted or were you served?  How were you even meant to know what type of animal, let alone what cut of meat was on display?  Did you choose a live fish and did they then kill and gut it for you?  Were you meant to haggle over the price?  So I just wandered around open-mouthed gazing at the polystyrene boxes full of fish gasping for breath, cages crammed full of live frogs, jars of unrecognisable dried stuff, containers of unfamiliar vegetables and the animal tails hanging from the butchers' stalls.

This time, I decided I would ease myself into the wet market experience gently by just buying my fruit and veg from the stalls.  This proved to be remarkable easy and I went from stall to stall buying the various items I needed.  Business was conducted without the stall owners speaking a word of English besides 'hello' and without me speaking a single-word of Cantonese - except for 'Tai-Tai' and it wasn't really the right situation for me to use my one and only phrase!

Sheung Wan Wet Market

Although I was only purchasing the easy stuff today, I did take a quick peek into the fish and meat section which I swiftly regretted.  In front of me was a stall filled with live chickens in cages with two domestic helpers choosing the chickens they wanted.  The chickens were then killed, plucked and gutted in full view of anyone unfortunate enough to be looking.  Now, I know I am only too happy to eat meat - and chicken is my favourite - so it is a bit hypocritical to complain, but there was something rather heart-breaking about chicken death-row.  It didn't stop me from dropping by the supermarket on the way home and buying chicken breasts though.

Weighed down with my purchases and feeling like an ever so slightly smug 'Tai-Tai' I headed home.  I was in the process of washing my vegetables when the phone rang and I was over-joyed to see that it was my husband.  I picked up the phone and gushed about the success I had had at the market and started enthusing about the gourmet banquet I planned to prepare for him tonight.  When David finally got a word in edge ways I could tell from the tone of his voice that there was a problem.  Reluctantly he announced that he wouldn't be coming home tonight as he had to fly to Beijing for a couple of days.  So now I have a vat of Tom Khaa Kai soup and a fridge full of fresh fruit and veg  - and no one to share it with.  I simply don't think I am destined for this 'Tai-Tai' business!  

Right I better go - I have some Tom Khaa Kai soup to work my way through.

My wet market purchases

My Tom Kha Kai

My Hong Kong Top 10

Having been in Hong Kong for just over five weeks now I feel as though I am only just beginning to scratch the surface.  However, I thought I would compile my Hong Kong Top 10 based on my experiences so far.

1)  The Country Parks
Before arriving here it never occurred to me that we would have so many green spaces within such easy reach.  Within 10 minutes we are in Lung Fu Shan Country Park encompassing The Peak - and from there we can easily access Pok Fu Lam Country Park.  My regular hikes up to The Peak have increased my fitness levels dramatically, given me bulging calf muscles and introduced me to a surprising passion for walking up very steep hills.

The VERY sweaty hiking look

It's worth the sweat for the view at the top

2)  The food
Hong Kong is a foodies paradise.  The sheer quantity and variety of fantastic eating establishments in Hong Kong is overwhelming.  From dim sum to duck, sushi to salads, pasta to pizza, curry to crab, fry-ups to fajitas - you name it, I've probably had it in the five weeks we've been here... hence the importance of hiking in the country parks.  Without a doubt there is something to suit everyone's taste buds and if you love your food you are never going to run out of new places to go out for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

My favourite food so far - Dim Sum Bento Box at The Landmark Mandarin Oriental

3)  The shopping
Shopping is the national past time of the Hong Kong people and their needs are catered for in the staggering variety of shopping malls, boutiques, stalls and department stores.  My personal favourite is the fabulously glossy IFC mall which is the home to the Apple store where I have already parted with far too much money in exchange for an iPhone 5, an AirPort Express router and Apple TV.  Apple TV is proving to be a life-saver as amongst other things I can access UK radio stations so I can keep in touch with the latest music rather than forcing myself to become a fan of Canto-Pop.

4)  Dogs
I can't reiterate enough just how much I love the Hong Kongers passion for their four legged friends.  Where we live we back on to a veterinary clinic, a pet shop and the obligatory doggy bakery!  Dogs are treated like children  accompanying their owners to bars and restaurants - where I have witnessed a dog sitting on a chair at a table with its family, being fed cake off a fork!  They have their own domestic helpers to walk and feed them and there are countless grooming and clothing options to ensure they are always beautifully turned out.

Dog in shoes

Strangely groomed spaniels

5)  Expat community
Before I arrived here I had been told by other expat friends of mine about how welcoming and inclusive the established expat community is.  I have been astounded by the kindness and warmth David and I have been shown so far and how easy it is to meet people.  It appears that as none of us have our family support network close at hand, we all pick up that role to bolster each other.  As everyone has been in the position of being 'the new kid on the block' at some point in time, they will go out of their way to help settle you into the community.

6)  Transport
Arriving here I have discovered that it really is possible to have a clean, efficient, fully-functioning public transport system that does not cost you half of your monthly salary to use.  In addition to the fabulously effective MTR, trains, buses, mini-buses and trams, there are the incredibly cheap taxis - often driven by lunatics who are very heavy on the accelerator, break and horn - but miraculously get you from A to B in one piece nonetheless!

7)  Bars
Living in the Mid-Levels we are spoilt for choice with bars right on our doorstep.  This has already resulted in a few accidental impromptu sessions.  Whether you like swanky wine bars, cocktail bars, English pubs or the obligatory Irish drinking hole - it is all within easy stumbling distance of home.

Cocktails watching the light show in the Intercontinental Hotel

8)  Octopus Card
Having moved out of London just before Oyster cards were introduced, I never really experienced the full benefits of an Oyster card.  However, here in Hong Kong I love the versatility of my Octopus Card.  I can go to the 7/11, put money onto it and then travel around the city using all forms of the public transport system,  I can pay for my shopping and coffee, and I can earn supermarket points.  It is super convenient and helps make life very easy.

9)  Member's Clubs
There is a tradition in Hong Kong for members clubs and many people are members of at least one club.  Ranging from the prestigious Hong Kong Club and China Club, through to special interest clubs such as the Royal Hong Kong Yacht Club and the Foreign Correspondence Club.  These clubs are little havens from the hectic city and generally provide a range of facilities from restaurants and bars, swimming pools and gyms, to bowling alleys, libraries and video rental shops.  We are waiting for me to get a job before taking the plunge and committing to joining one of these clubs and in the meantime we are trying not to abuse the generosity of club members who have invited us to experience their coverted retreats.

10)  Pacific Coffee Company
I am a total convert to Hong Kong's home grown coffee franchise - the Pacific Coffee Company.  No longer do I crave and hunt down Starbucks - instead I get my morning hit of caffeine from the Pacific Coffee Company with one outlet conveniently located directly underneath our apartment.  And when I am having a particularly trying day, I will indulge in an afternoon Chillino - Pacific Coffee Company's answer to a Frappuccino.

Just to balance this list a little and in the interest of not painting an unrealistic picture,  I am balancing these positives with the negatives I have experienced so far:

1)  Recruitment consultants
This doesn't extend to all recruitment consultants but I take great pleasure in naming and shaming Michael Page Hong Kong who do not have the vision to understand the concept of transferable skills.

2) Cost of wine
A bottle of Oyster Bay costs around HK$160 (£13) from the supermarket and a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc at a restaurant will typically cost around HK$400 (£34).  As such, we have rarely been out for dinner with friends and ordered a second bottle of wine and we don't often have wine at home.  Perhaps the UK government should raise the price of alcohol significantly as it certainly does curb the binge drinking!

3)  Bad hair days
Every day is a bad hair day thanks to the humidity.  I have nothing more to add on this point!

4)  Mosquitos and cockroaches
To date we have had one rogue cockroach in our apartment which I discovered at 3am on my way to the loo.  This resulted in me screaming and waking up David who leapt out of bed with no clothes on.  He pursued the evasive cockroach around our flat while I screeched from a distance, until he managed to maneuver it onto a piece of paper and chuck it out of the window.  It would have made entertaining viewing for any of our many neighbours who overlook our home.

In addition to the cockroach incident, it appears that I am particularly tasty to the mosquitos and gnats here and not a single bite-free day has passed yet.

5)  The weather
Seriously Hong Kong - sort it out - I have barely seen the sun since I arrived here!

So, without a doubt there are so many more positives than negatives and I hope this blog will help to persuade some of you to come and try out all that Hong Kong has to offer.

Onwards and Upwards

Don't panic - I haven't thrown myself out of our 15th floor apartment window since writing my last slightly maudlin blog!  In fact, if anything my blog and the reaction that many of you had to it made me have strong words with myself, encouraged me to stop feeling sorry for myself and kick started me into grabbing this amazing opportunity that David and I have here in Hong Kong. Thank you to all of you who sent me supportive messages, texts and phone calls which lifted me out of my gloomy mood.  It was particularly reassuring hearing from so many other expat friends who related to my frustrations and emotions and have come through the other side successfully.  

The hunt for a job has snowballed with all my networking really beginning to pay off, but it has literally filled every single day this week.  I have had numerous meetings, put together proposals for project work and talked through my CV relentlessly.  The turning point was a meeting with the Managing Director of Edelman - the world's largest PR agency.  He was a confident, sharp and very personable Australian who was so positive about my experience, claiming he would employ me in an instant if he had a vacancy to fill.  Regardless of whether he was giving me lip service, it bolstered my waning confidence and made me realise that approaching the International PR agencies is going to be a more fruitful exercise than the advertising and media planning and buying agencies where there appear to be fewer regional opportunities.  So, leaving the meeting at Edelman with a change in direction and  a fistful of other PR agency contacts to follow-up, everything started to alter for the better and very rapidly.  As a result next week I have a meeting with senior management within three further very well known PR agencies so hopefully I am a step closer to securing a job and regaining my identity!

So, I am in a much happier place now and feel positive that if I keep up the networking, an exciting opportunity will present itself soon.

Rewarding myself after a networking meeting with a McDonald's while wearing Vivienne Westwood (sorry about the strange facial expression - I was feeling a little self-conscious about taking a photo of myself)

Do you know who I am? Right now, neither do I!

It was fairly inevitable that there would come a time, shortly after arriving in Hong Kong, when the honeymoon period wore off and the reality of being so far away from my friends, family and everything that is familiar struck.  Over the past week that has, without a doubt, become a reality.  The catalyst for this has been the realisation that I am unemployed and as a result I feel like I have lost my identity and what defined me.

When  you meet new people one of the first questions in the polite conversation repertoire is generally -  "what brought you to Hong Kong?".   When I respond that it was my husband's job there are usually two different responses.  The first response is an assumption that I am simply an expat lady of leisure or 'Tai Tai' in Cantonese (one of the few words in Cantonese that I have reluctantly picked up).  The second response is the follow-up questions - "so, what do you do?" - and when I respond that I am looking for a job in PR and marketing, this is often followed up with the assumption that I am a 'Tai Tai' in denial.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against ladies of leisure, it is just not a role I want to adopt yet.  If I had come out here with children, I would have felt comfortable with being a 'lady of leisure' and spending quality time with the kids.  And to be perfectly honest, I know that spending a full day with children is exhausting and unrelenting - hardly 'leisure' as far as I'm concerned!  However, it seems a bit self-indulgent, as a married woman with no children, to skip between coffee, the gym, lunch, the spa, afternoon tea, tennis lessons and dinner.  For one - I need more purpose in my life, and secondly David needs to be making much more money so I can afford that lifestyle!

It has also become apparent that the quest to find a job here in Hong Kong is going to be more tricky than I had anticipated.  Most of the recruitment agencies will only put you forward for a job if your CV is a precise carbon copy of the job specification - transferable skills are an unknown concept to most.  I had a run in with one of the recruitment agencies who, on receiving a job application from me, instantly emailed back to say that I would not be put forward for the role.  When I asked why - they explained that it was because I had no digital marketing experience.  I pointed out that my CV clearly stated that I had digital marketing experience and every role I have worked in since 1997 has involved digital marketing and I reiterated my precise digital marketing skill-set.  The recruitment consultant responded to say that she was still not going to put me forward for the job.  Again, I asked why - and this time the response was that I only had UK experience.   I referred her back to my CV again and to the fact that I have been working for an international PR and marketing agency for the past three years.  Nevertheless she was still adamant that I would not be put forward for the job and eventually snapped that it was because I didn't speak Cantonese - which she knew I could not dispute!

From speaking to other expats it is clear that my experience is the norm, and the best way to find a job is to network, network, network.  I have been extremely lucky in that the General Manager and Marketing Consultant at David's company have introduced me to some fantastic senior level PR and marketing contacts.  Also, I have got in touch with people from my London agency days, who are based in Asia and they in turn have made invaluable introductions for me.  In the two weeks since I started scoping out the job market here in Hong Kong, I have met with and been put in touch with almost thirty people.  Fortunately I am comfortable with networking and enjoy meeting new people and I am sure that it will pay off in time.  There are simply a limited number of senior level roles where Cantonese or Mandarin are not a requirement - and it is all about speaking to the right people at the right time.  As a result, looking for a job is becoming a full-time job in itself.

So, right now I fill my days with emailing new contacts, meeting new people and scouring the job sites in a desperate attempt to rediscover my identity and shake off my 'Tai Tai' label.

My Office

Doggy Delights

Following on from my earlier blog on Pampered Pooches - I have seen a couple of dog eateries and dog snack specialties that have made me giggle away to myself.  Firstly, there was the Dog Bakery which I haven't yet ventured into as I thought that may be a little odd seeing as I don't have a dog here to feed doggy doughnuts to.

However, the one that really made me roll my eyes with consternation was at the Ice Cream stall at the top of The Peak where I noticed a sign advertising Doggie Gelato in beef or cheese flavours.  I thought it was particularly thoughtful that a vegetarian option had been developed for the more health conscious or morally responsible pups.