The failed gundog

Yesterday David and I arrived in England for our first Christmas back home since 2013.  Of course, we are super happy to be home to celebrate Christmas with our family but above all, we are overjoyed to be reunited with our amazing dog daughter, Wonder Winnie.  For anyone who doesn’t know Winnie, she is our much loved black Spaniel/Labrador cross, who, despite being very beautiful and clever, has failed to deliver on David’s ultimate ambition for her - to be his very own world-class gun dog.

Wonder Winnie in her favourite spot

When we selected our little black bundle of joy, David was mentally gearing up to purchase a flat cap, tweeds and a shotgun, to join the shooting brigade with his trusty new gun dog by his side.  However, after a series of gun dog training sessions it became blatantly apparent that Winnie’s gun dog capabilities were severely flawed.  While Winnie was an exemplary retriever, impressing the trainer with the speed at which she mastered the concept of collecting the dummy dead bird, she was an extremely deficient deliverer.  Winnie is undoubtedly a smart and manipulative little dog and she immediately discovered that it was far more fun to taunt David than to deliver the retrieved item back to him.  So, while all the other hounds in the gun dog class were obediently following their owner’s instructions, Winnie was not.  The class witnessed her teasing her master with the retrieved stuffed pheasant dangling from her jaw and every time he desperately attempted to pounce on her to get it back, she adeptly side stepped him, like an All Black winger, while he got more and more irate before combusting into a tirade of expletives.

Besides this, Winnie is also terrified of the sound of gunshot.  It soon became clear that our dog had ultra sensitive hearing, picking up the sound of guns three counties away.  The impact being that she would be reduced to a trembling, cowering wreck, incapable of moving.  Time and time again, David could be seen carrying his quivering retriever, clinging to him like a koala on a eucalyptus tree, across Hampshire fields, back home from her walks, as she had detected distant gunfire somewhere in the region of Scotland and refused to take another step.  This was definitely not the image David had been looking to project with his little gun dog.

Nevertheless, despite failing to meet her master’s lofty aspirations for her, we love and miss her very much.  And, without a doubt, the best thing about coming home is the ebullient welcome our Winnie unfailingly delivers.  No one else gives us quite such an enthusiastic, affectionate and borderline deranged greeting as our gorgeous little dog. 

Is there a glimmer of hope on the horizon?

Since finishing my studies, I have enjoyed having free time again and I’ve spent many hours hiking in Hong Kong, reflecting on the previous twelve months and looking at the goals I want to aim for in the coming year.  For me personally, 2017 has been about applying myself 100% to studying and expanding my knowledge as an English teacher.  It has awakened a desire to learn more and to continue on this journey into academia.  It has also ignited a general thirst for increasing my overall knowledge of the world and encouraged me to learn about and investigate many different areas besides second language acquisition. This year, I have also been reminded about the importance of not taking family and friends for granted, as they are the ones who will help pick you up during the tougher times.  David, in particular, has been incredibly patient and supportive throughout the year, and without his encouragement and love, I would have found it far harder to achieve the results I did.

Looking at 2017 more broadly, the world has seemed a pretty dark place at times.  With wars raging, terrorist attacks proliferating, nuclear annihilation threatening, the destruction of the planet persisting, right wing extremism rising and the gap between the haves and have nots increasing, it is hard not to feel fearful, despairing and powerless.  However, there are some glimmers of hope. 

Hope on the horizon?

For example, while Brexit has polarised the UK, it has also awoken many of us who were previously apathetic or ambivalent towards politics.  I have never read or listened to so much political debate as I have done over the past 12 months. While I certainly don’t profess to being an expert or to have any answers, there is a consensus that Capitalism is in its death throes and Brexit, Trump and the rise of the far right are protests against globalisation, the status quo or cries for help.  There has to be an alternative to a world where we are driven to be ever-more productive, to work longer hours, to compete against each other - so that we can have more of the latest ‘stuff’ (that we don’t really need), to make corporations (who do not pay sufficient taxes) dangerously powerful, while systematically destroying our planet, breaking down communities and compromising on our quality of life. 

The glimmer of hope is that while the solutions haven’t necessarily been fully- formed yet, the tide is turning and people are beginning to realise that we can’t continue as we have been, we can’t return to the ‘good old days’ and therefore we need to create an alternative future.  There are many conversations, debates and investigations looking into alternatives – many of which could be achievable with sufficient momentum. While nothing is going to change overnight, these difficult times are our wake-up call to think big and join together to create a better sustainable world for future generations to enjoy.

So, while I know I cannot change the world single-handedly, my resolutions for 2018 are to contribute in a small way to improving the world we live in and start to alleviate my feelings of despair and impotence.  So, here they are:

1. Reduce the amount of stuff I buy – particularly ‘disposable’ clothes
2. Buy food and products with reusable or recyclable packaging
3. Reduce my meat consumption to two days per week
4. Volunteer my time to give something back to my community e.g. teach under-privileged children or adults
5. Remain politically awake and get behind campaigns/movements that aim to change this world into a kinder, fairer, peaceful  and more tolerant place

I know it's not much and I'm sure some of you are doing all of the above already.  However, if everyone were to commit to making little adjustments, we could slowly start to change the world into a better place for everyone.  Wishing you all a very merry Christmas and a happy 2018!

Surviving the DipTESOL

Well, the past year has been slightly more intense than I anticipated.  Ignorantly, when I signed up to study the Trinity Diploma in Teaching English as a Second Language (DipTESOL), I believed it would be a breeze, however, it has been one seriously long, hard slog.  If the one month CertTESOL course is a sprint, the DipTESOL is an ultramarathon - and I've never been a keen runner.  However, I've survived (just), my marriage is still in tact (isn't it David?), I still have a few friends who have tolerated my elusiveness over the past 12 months and right now I am overwhelmed with a sense of achievement.  The course is split into four units (including a 3 hour written exam; phonology exam; three research projects and observed teaching) I managed to achieve a distinction in three of the four units and I'll get the result of the written exam (the final unit) at the end of January.  Provided I pass the exam I will get a distinction overall which would be amazing and make it all worthwhile.

A selection of the books I've read this year

Having not studied formally for over 25 years (besides my RYA Yachtmaster navigation exams, my MCA Long Range Radio exam and my CertTESOL), I have a few observations about returning to academia as a 'mature' student.

The curse of perfectionism

When I was studying for my GCSEs and my A Levels, I became quite adept at gauging the minimum effort I needed to apply in order to pass my exams.  I was very conscious that I could do better if I really studied hard and made sacrifices but I didn't really see the point as that would interfere with cider drinking, smoking fags, flirting with boys and being a rebel without a cause.  I always managed to do just enough to get by without completely pissing off the parents who had invested a lot in my education.  It did almost backfire with my A levels, which I still have nightmares about now, as I knew I had scaled back my studying a bit too aggressively.  However, I got away with it - just.  

Contrary to this, as an adult student, nothing but a distinction will suffice.  I have literally slogged my guts out over the last 12 months to get the results I've managed.  I have turned down invitations to parties, weekends away, sailing, hiking - basically to do lots of really super fun things.  I have obsessed over my studying and been utterly focussed and I've got so stressed at times, I've had panic attacks.  I have beaten myself up every time I haven't got a distinction for an assignment or an observed lesson and I've been angry with myself on the odd occasion when I've been too tired or hungover to study.  When did I become this perfectionist?  I swear, studying was a lot less stressful when I was the rebellious teenager.

Studying is different now

When I think back to studying at school, the most high tech piece of equipment I had to assist me was a tape recorder.  I remember someone telling me that if you went to sleep listening to something, you learnt it by some kind of weird osmosis. Naturally, this sounded like a great short cut to proper studying so I dutifully recorded myself reading the translation of Pliny for my Latin GCSE and slept listening to it, only to discover in my mock exams that nothing had been magically assimilated - rubbish! So back I went to my trusty latin dictionary, a pad of paper and a pen.

Nowadays, studying is a multi-media interactive experience, this has really helped me to retain an immense amount of information in a relatively short amount of time.  My coursemates and I have had the luxury of being able to communicate, share knowledge and debate topics on our online learning platform called Moodle.  We have participated in live online seminars with our tutors each week. We have been able to find academic papers and presentations to read online.  We have been able to watch conference presentations on YouTube.  We have been able to listen to Podcasts by key opinion leaders in the TESOL field.  We have been able to write our own online quizzes to help us learn important facts and quotes for our exams.  We have been able to co-create assignments using Googledocs... The list goes on...  Basically, technology has made studying much more effective and learner-friendly over the years.

Addicted to expanding the mind

Above all I have discovered that studying and broadening the mind are quite addictive.  Despite the fact that studying is, at times, very stressful, the satisfaction of increasing your knowledge and being able to apply it to real life has been incredibly rewarding.  I feel very confident now talking about how learners acquire a second language most effectively.  I believe I could efficiently design and deliver courses for both adults and children that would help them to learn English for their particular context, based on a very solid understanding of how learning works and what courses need to include to produce the best results.  I know I have become a better teacher as a result of the past year.  However, now I'm at the end of the course, I want to know more.  I want to keep learning.

Now the DipTESOL is done (assuming I've passed the written exam), the big questions is, what next?  I don't think I want to stop here - although I need to wait before broaching this (and the associated cost) with David.  So, I'm thinking to start with, a Masters in Applied Linguistics and then, well, maybe a PhD - afterall Doctor Walder has a good ring to it, don't you think!