Enjoying today every day

In my last blog I mentioned coping mechanisms I have developed to deal with the stresses and pressures of working life in Hong Kong - the primary one being to push myself to enjoy the now and not postpone happiness until tomorrow.  Determined not to make work the focus of my life I am making a concerted effort to do one positive, fun thing every day - no matter how small.

In the UK there were times when work would become all encompassing and it would strike me that life had morphed into a cycle of work, dinner, bed, work, dinner, bed, work, dinner, bed until THE WEEKEND, and then repeat.  When I left London I was jolted into taking a good hard look at what my life had become and it kick-started me into throwing myself into sailing and making time to have interests beyond work.  However, as time ticked by in Hamble, I gradually reverted back to the person I thought I had left behind, as sailing slipped by the wayside and once more I was living for the weekends, with few interests beyond work.  Effectively I was only looking forward to, and enjoying 27% of my life and just existing and waiting during the other 73% - a depressing thought.

So, here is how I have applied my new found approach to life in the past week:

• Monday:  Met David in a bar by our house so we could have a conversation over a glass of chilled wine before going home and collapsing in front of the TV
• Tuesday:  Met David for a gin and tonic in Soho and watched a flash mob dance routine break out in the street in front of us
• Wednesday:  Met up with a friend of a friend who was visiting Hong Kong and had a lovely night making a new friend over a delicious dinner at The Pawn, before experiencing Wan Chai's most popular underage drinking establishment
• Thursday:  Lunchtime meeting at Gaia where I enjoyed some fabulous Italian food
• Friday:  Dim Sum lunch with work colleagues, Friday mojitos at the office and dinner at Kowloon cricket club
• Saturday:  Highlights and haircut courtesy of my lovely hairdresser Henry, holiday planning at The Flight Centre and a posh cocktail at Blck Brd with David
• Sunday:  Trip on Aqualuna junk to Stanley followed by lunch

The end result has been that even if work has been hard or high pressured, there has always been something else to look forward to.  While I had developed this approach as a way to cope with the difficult transition into Hong Kong work life,  I am beginning to wish I had addressed my 'living for the weekend' attitude a long time ago.  Like it or not I am 'middle-aged' and it is time to make sure that life doesn't continue to pass me by.  None of us know what is around the corner and we all need to start enjoying today every day.

'No' has been removed from the dictionary

The past month has been tougher than I could have ever imagined.  If I had been aware that the transition from a comfortable life in our sailing village with a drinking problem, to a super-charged, atomic-paced city with an even worse drinking problem would be quite so challenging, I probably would have opted out of making the change.

Perhaps my biggest challenge has been settling into my job which I naively thought would be the least of my worries.  Business is conducted differently here.  Hong Kong is an entrepreneur's playground and anything is possible.  'No' has been removed from the dictionary which means that when a client proposes the 'impossible' you have to work out a way to make it happen.  This requires quite a change of mindset when dealing with clients, shifting from the British 'conditioning of expectations' to the standard Hong Kong 'yes, no problem' - accompanied with well-disguised internal angst and (in my case) complete blind panic.

Dealing with this completely alien work culture has resulted in my mind going into over-drive deliberating over micro worries like do I have the ability to do my job, to macro worries like what do I really want to achieve from my life.  The only thing I have concluded is that I don't know the answer to any of these questions, so while I try to get to the bottom of these dilemmas, I have begun to develop a coping mechanism.  The techniques that I am applying to deal with the pressures and stresses are:

1. Dealing with one day at a time and focusing only on what I need to achieve on that particular day;
2. Learning to say yes but realising that finding a solution does not rest squarely on my shoulders alone; 
3. Trying to care less - the worst thing that can happen is I get fired;
4. Pushing myself to enjoy the NOW and not postpone happiness and fulfilment for tomorrow;
5. When all else fails - throw money at the problem by investing in a neck and shoulder massage followed by a lychee martini.  

Chucking money at the problem... a foot massage

So in answer to the question in my earlier blog - "What’s the great lesson that this culture and these people seem to be teaching me?" - it is live for the moment and worry about the future tomorrow.